| shopping and hanging out - an actual update |
[28 Dec 2009|11:50pm] |
Past few days have been good. Day after Christmas, Jackie and I had plans to hang out, shop for some clothes, and watch baby animals on DVD, but she had to work at 3 and it would have been pushing it, time-wise. So we called it off for the time being. I did end up going to Goodwill with Maggie and my mum. I was doing pretty good (as in, only 17 items after trying the 37 I'd picked out on) until mom goes, "Oh there were some dresses over on that other rack that were so you."
I went to look at the rack.
It was obviously retail-store-overflow.
It was ALL. MAXI. DRESSES. I grabbed basically one of EVERYTHING, and got five dresses that would easily have cost me $100+ total retail for about $20. The downside is that my overall total was $160. The good news is that with my discount, it was only $130. And, of course, the other good news is that I, yanno, have clothes. My size has been fluctuating a lot, so pants have been an issue, since I can't wear skirts to work. So I came home, sorted through all my clothing, and got rid of about two garbage bags of stuff I never wear, replacing it with the three Goodwill bags of stuff I'd bought. I also got all my socks sorted, my dirty laundry done, and other things! Hooray! Maggie and I chilled out the rest of the day, watched Growing Up: Black Leopard. Blaster LOVES that video.
Seriously, he was sitting on my lap, and then PERKED RIGHT UP at the baby leopard. He then vacated my lap for the television. He was seriously STANDING in front of my television, his little paws up on the ledge, ENTRANCED by this black leopard cub eating a chicken breast. He did sit down, eventually, right in front of the TV, but goddamn. So cute. I got bad cell phone pictures of it.
We also got Toppers (thank you guys SO MUCH for delivering to my house ILU), and she ended up spending the night. That was my Saturday.
Sunday, Gashi was going to come see me before his shift. What with his family issues, our seeing each other, or even talking to each other, has been pretty touch-and-go for about a week. I've never been so grateful for text messaging. Anyway, so Maggie took my laundry to mom's to do, and I was sitting around, waiting for Gashi. He finally woke up at noon, but since my shift was at three, I'd asked if I could be on call, so I could still see him, and also so I could just enjoy some more time off. :P I'm spoiled.
He got here, we ran out and got breakfast together, got some coffee, and rented the new Family Guy Star Wars video. It was funny ("Who's mah nerd herder? YOU mah nerf herder!"), but still not as funny as Robot Chicken Star Wars. :P It made me really want to watch the actual movies. Then we watched Growing Up: Cheetah, which was mind explodingly adorable, and we rewatched the black leopard one for Blaster's reaction, which was less enthusiastic but still quite interested (he only sat by the TV for a little while, then watched the rest of it from my lap). He loves the parts where the cub gets fed. XD
We hung out more, had dinner, and then he left around 8-9pm ish. I played Sims and Pet Society until bedtime.
Then today, woke up at 10am so Emmu and Maggie could come over. We got Lee's Deli sandwiches, ate them at mom's to the accompaniment of delicious coffee, and then we, ALL of us, ran to the bank to make deposits, and picked up some groceries. Emmu wanted to make us dinner, so we picked up a steak and some steak pinwheels stuffed with garlic herb cream cheese, they were like giant meaty cinnamon rolls, homg. We also got various teas and stuff, and mom dropped us off at my house. While Maggie and Emmu were cooking, I tidied the living room (quite well, I feel), and vacuumed. We hung out, chatted, and then Miku arrived! We played Rock Band for a while until my wrists got sore and the drums kept bugging out (ie - after like 6 songs). Then he and Maggie took turns playing Lego Indiana Jones, which was filarious (similar to fugly, only less offensive), we ate delicious steak-type foods with couscous as a side, with tea and juices and whatnot. Was quite satisfying. Oh, and Emmu also baked some pumpkin cream cheese muffins, which were a little gastronomical after a while, but excellent at the time, with delicious crunch tops, which were crunchy.
Me: My favourite part is how crunchy the tops are.
Emmu: That's because they're crunchy!
We then watched some Doctor Who with Tom Baker, which I was utterly unimpressed with at first (it is NOT fun to watch Dr. Who with Dr. Who fans :P), but it quite grew on me. You gotta love a show with an even lower budget than Red Dwarf. XD Miku was quite sleepy, so he left, which was cool. It was 8pm anyway, and driving while sleepy is never ever fun. So Maggie and Emmu and I settled in for a long haul of watching baby animals. We got through Penguin, in which the keeper was really way more adorable than the penguin; and Walrus, which is EASILY THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I WANT TO BE A PROFESSIONAL WALRUS CUDDLER WHEN I GROW UP; and also Seal, which is also REALLY REALLY ADORABLE AND THEY ARE LIKE KITTIES. During most of this, I played sims. That game is fun. My pregnant lady died, leaving her playboy husband to care for their quadruplets...only he begged with death and won her back. Yay, happy ending!
And now I am going to lie down for sleeps and call mah boyfrain. We might see each other tomorrow, but at the very least, Emmu is going to make rainbow French Toast with crazy bumpy egg bread, which should be insane and hopefully delicious. XD So I have something to look forward to before my shift.
Oh, also! I have been doing more exercises, some Qi Gong, a little yoga, and just plain stretches that my rheumatologist prescribed. Oh, and I also made a doctor's appointment for early January, and a massage appointment this coming Monday. Which will be nice, since Wednesday is Lady Parts Poking Day for me, and Thursday is going to be New Years Eve shift, and craziness. It'll be a fun weekend! :D
Anyway, night!
|
|
| tired |
[28 Dec 2009|12:34am] |
I want to do good things. I don't want to disappoint people.
I always feel like there's something I'm not doing. Want to relax, please, body and brain.
|
|
| evil history professors, and vampires with machine guns |
[26 Dec 2009|11:48am] |
I had this insane dream last night where my history professor was an evil supervillain who was building up elemental resistances in small children by making them drink "fishwater" and by electrocuting them. The idea was that they'd end up being hugely powerful warriors afterwards.
And then there was something about spirits, and there was a horse/giraffe spirit who said that it was fine being dead, because he could be summoned back to the real world, and even when he wasn't, the spirit world was so much better anyway! And there was another spirit, who was a bull, like, a GIANT bull (like, the size of an elephant, hung by the skin of his shoulders on a hook on a gallows, which was on a small hill surrounded by a moat. And he had a Scottish accent, and he wasn't so tickled about being a spirit. For some reason, I was hanging with him, and he turned into a whale/shark creature, to try to get me to drop down onto the water below. I was scared, and begging him not to hurt me, and he yelled, "I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm just trying to make you let go!" Psychoanalyzation of my dream begins NOW. :P
Somehow through this, I ended up being kidnapped from my school by a vampire, who was training me to become a vampire, or superhuman, or something. He lived in an insanely tall house, with stairs and ladders traversing it. It seemed like it had been multiple floors, but now it was mostly just a 3-story, 1-floor house, with the ladders leading to an upper level. It was a den of vampires, with a lot of families, mothers and fathers and children vampires, and then a bunch of just random males. It was long and involved...the man who kidnapped me signalled to the rest of the vampires to leave us alone, and then he paralyzed my legs, or something. But he didn't mean to, he just applied some stinging liquid to my tailbone and my legs gave out. He seemed surprised. I remembered being really worried if he was ever in danger - obviously I was kidnapped against my will, but a) he defended me against the other vampires and b) it was kind of a stockholm syndrome thing. Anyway, with my legs not working, he lifted me and carried me up to the top floor, which was his room, and he set me on his bed, and went to work at his computer.
( this gets a bit violently graphic )
The people in the car - I later learned were rival vampires - laughed and told my captor not to mess around with humans, as they were likely to break, and drove off. Devastated, he walked up to my body, his hands clasped to his face. And as he did, I moved - I reached my arm toward him. Apparently the experiments he'd been performing on me had worked, and I had a supernatural ability to survive. Over the next few weeks, he slowly helped me regenerate my body. However, touched as I was that he had been so upset at my demise (or the end of his project), I was angry at him for not protecting me, and I also felt more confident in myself, since I'd survived.
So I began to act out when he ignored me - one example was in my dream, I had received a phone call from my uncle Steve, and the clan "loose cannon," a Japanese-looking vampire whose name had something to do with yellow, kept answering the phone and giving him the runaround. When my captor refused to do anything about it, I took matters into my own hands. I approached Yellow, and yelled at him for what he'd done, and then, to emphasize my point, threw a shuriken at him (I had developed a power where I could summon shuriken by rubbing my hands together, like I was dealing out cards). He laughed, and told me he could easily kill me. To prove his point, he held a knife to my throat. I didn't back down, but my unnamed vampire didn't come to my aid (he didn't notice I was getting myself in trouble). But I wasn't afraid for my safety anymore, so I stood my ground, and Yellow "glassed my eyes" - which blinded me. He didn't really want to harm me, and incur unnamed's wrath, but he wanted to teach me a lesson.
I found my way to the wall, and began to feel my way to the staircase. One of the mother vampires found me, and told me to stay still until she could get my caretaker, but I didn't feel like waiting for him. If he wanted me, he could find me. I overheard her telling him what had happened, and then...I don't remember anything else.
It was one of those dreams where the feelings keep lingering with you long after you wake up. And I've been remiss in recording my crazy ass dreams (mostly because 10+ hours of crazy ass dreams is a LOT of typing), so I decided to get this one down.
And yes, I do now see the Twilight likeness, but I'd prefer not to taint my semi-romantic dream with that. :P
|
|
| what were they like, again? |
[25 Dec 2009|11:07pm] |
:B IWANNASEEAVATARAGAIN D:
D:
D:
ME TOOOOO
it was REALLY good
i want a pet fan lizard D:
DITTO
they were like
SPINSPINSPINSPIN
flipflipflipflipflip
XD
|
|
| christmas! |
[25 Dec 2009|10:55pm] |
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
It was Christmas today! Or, still is. But festivities are over. Except on the internet! Yay, internet festivities! Last night I did get to see Gashi, which was an excellent Christmas present! Then went back to my house to get presents and shower, and went to mom's for celebratey times. Since everyone was there right away, we got to open presents right away!
I got:
- A 5-DVD set of Growing Up, which I have not seen, but is apparently BAAAABY ANIMALS and thus tailored EXCLUSIVELY towards me.
- 3 certificates for 1-hour-long massages, mmm.
- A really pretty silver bracelet with a mother-of-pearl flower on it.
- Lego Star Wars: the encyclopedia
- Space Invaders ice cube trays!
- $100
- Thief of Time, Terry Pratchett
- The second book in a series about lady detectives? XD I don't remember.
- Mashed potatoes and gravy
- A "HEY YOU GUYS" Goonies t-shirt. XD
- Some homemade beef jerky
There was delicious food and I took home some smashed potatoes and now it is bedtime. Night!
|
|
| general life update - some good, some bad |
[23 Dec 2009|10:15pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
BoA - Eat You Up |
] |
Well, yesterday I had to wake up early so Gashi could take me home to take his dad to the doctor's. We argued on the way home - I was upset that I hadn't gotten much sleep, and Gashi, rather than be sympathetic, got irritated, saying "I knew it could happen." It's like, shit, dude, I'm not mad THAT I had to wake up. I'm just mad that you couldn't be SYMPATHETIC about it. But I ended up ragging on him about things I WASN'T upset about, just because I was angry. Something I definitely need to work on. But it was resolved by the end of the car ride, and yeah.
I was sick yesterday, as I have been for a few days, feverish, sinus-headachey, and so on. Actually, it's been since Friday, I think. So, a while. I didn't take a nap yesterday, though, because I wanted to get my sleep schedule back on track. Instead, I did EVERYTHING: took my online exam and officially finished my first semester of school, washed the dishes, cleaned the counters, and even scrubbed out the microwave before work. I went to sleep around midnight, and slept through til morning. Then, for most of the day today, I slept. I got up to eat, to pee, and to waffle about should-I-get-up. Eventually I decided that my body was sending me a message, so I took some medicine, mentally canceled my plans for the day, and got bedrest until 3:30 when I had to shower and go to work.
Work was good - knees got really sore by the end of the shift, but the money was good, and it was fun. Tomorrow, though. Tomorrow's gonna be fun. I hope we get an early rush and I get to go home early. Gonna come home...maybe cuddle some kitties. Maybe I'll see if I can spend the night at my mom's. I dunno.
There's more stuff that's going on with Gashi. He might not be able to make it to Christmas. It's not really my news to share, so until I have his permission, I'm not going to be publicising his business. Suffice it to say that if you'd keep his family in your thoughts/prayers/etc, it'd be appreciated.
|
|
| STICK A FORK IN MEH |
[22 Dec 2009|01:25pm] |
Aaand I am officially done with school for this semester, because I just finished my online English final. It was without a doubt the toughest of my finals, though, lol. Two essay questions. -.- But! It is finished!
I can't wait to get my grades for the semester!
Oh, and I put my books up for sale on Amazon, last night, and one of them was sold by this morning. Damn, dude. Guess you can't wait to take that geography class. :P
|
|
| 3/4 exams are totally finished |
[21 Dec 2009|04:10pm] |
And Soc exam is done! I am just tickled pink. I was reviewing my notes, and then decided to peek at the definitions at the end of the chapters covered on the test. As I was doing that, I remembered that for the midterm she said that as long as we could answer the multiple choice questions at the end, then we'd probably be good. So, I went back and answered all the questions, checking against the key.
Well, guess what was on the final. XD Literally the whole test was the chapter review questions. I knew most of it anyway, but I definitely would have gotten a few wrong if I hadn't checked my answers. So, go me! 3.25 GPA or higher, here I come (hopefully)!
Now I am waiting outside my history professor's office like a creepy stalker because I want my Frankenstein paper back. He's out getting food or something, so hopefully he gets here before my ride does!
|
|
| at school |
[21 Dec 2009|02:20pm] |
History exam status: OWNED. Or, probably. Definitely at least an A-.
Now, to do some last minute review* on sociology before 3:30. I have a forehead headache but I am full of (rather pricey) food, and have a good feeling about this semester in general. Plus, we're going to see Avatar after my soc exam, so yay!
* Also, first-minute review. >.>
argharghargh my heaaad though
|
|
| one exam down, three to go |
[18 Dec 2009|12:32pm] |
Had my geography exam this morning. I thought it would be harder, but can definitely say I am not complaining. I was kind of hoping he'd let us do the Haka for extra credit, but I suppose I didn't learn it for nothing. At the very least, I can intimidate the shit out of Rachel with my manly prowess and imposing figure when I get there. :P
Anyway, tonight, Becky says I can come in to work at 5, and I can leave early if it's not busy, so I owe her one, big time. Partially because my health hasn't been so great lately. Yesterday and today, my joints are sore, my muscles are sore, I get terrified every time I go to the bathroom because I'm not sure I'm awake and I dread to think that I'm actually wetting the bed. I was discussing with Gashi that it's a frustrating experience for me, because this whatever-it-is has gone from "oh, it's just in your head, you're just a wuss" to "well you wouldn't be sick if you didn't think about being sick all the time." But I DON'T think about it all the time. And when I DO, it's because I'm all ready in pain. I don't know. Mom, I know at this point you're just dying to tell me stuff, but I think this is one thing I want to field on my own. I don't feel like explaining myself and whatnot, just trust that I know what I'm doing. Mostly. And if I don't, I'll figure it out. :P
Anyway. I've made some decisions. The first and most important is that I don't want to give up waiting tables. Yes, it's hard work, and taxes my strength greatly. But that's why it's so important. I need to keep pushing myself, which is my second decision. I have decided that I can accept the fact that I am not well, without giving in to "being sick." I don't want to get so used to playing the sick role that I can't, or become unwilling to, take care of myself. So, I won't deny myself respite when I need it. I will listen to my body, and if I think today is a sit-around day, then I will sit around. But I will keep pushing my limits. I will make myself work, make myself clean, make myself do things that I don't want to do, because I am capable. I will not lose my immense capability to fear, or to laziness, or to "I can't, because I'm sick."
This has to do with something that occurred to me the other day. I was climbing the stairs to my apartment. It hurt. The muscles in my knees pulled uncomfortably when I used my leg to push my weight up. My back hurt from carrying groceries, my purse, and my backpack. I was out of breath, because I was exhausted from my day thus far. When I got into the living room, I set everything down on the couch, and leaned against the wall to catch my breath. I felt stupid that a staircase could pose such a problem to me. That I couldn't do a simple thing like walk up a flight of stairs without obstacles. But before this momentary feeling could coalesce into an actual thought - it hit me that, well, I had done it. That, yeah, it was hard. I was winded. But I'd done it. I was capable of climbing stairs.
And that was a big thing for me. I can walk. I can run, I can climb. I can carry really heavy stuff*. I can go up stairs. I can carry heavy stuff up stairs. I can work a six hour serving shift and not sit down once. I am so, so capable. And so, if I can do things things, then why wouldn't I? Because they're hard? That's ridiculous, I don't want to live a life where I never do anything if it's hard. Especially because there are people, even people who I know personally, who can't do these things. I owe it to myself to push myself, and in a way, I owe it to them, too. Hooray for commas.
* for short distances.
So yeah. In short, yes: I am not the pinnacle of health. I have pain that most people don't. Things that most people take for granted are much harder for me to do. But I can still do them. I can still function. I can still be as normal as I want to be. I accept myself, and the choices I've made, and I promise myself that I won't stop trying, just because I'm stressed, or tired, or frustrated. I also promise myself, however, to be sympathetic to myself. Not to push myself so hard that I make things worse. I will listen to myself.
And I will also stop rambling on, and take a nap before work. :P "The Lord says, love not sleep..." BUT IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO LOVE SLEEPING, WHY DID YOU MAKE IT SO GOSH DARNED NICE?!
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
jupitervrij's Friends Page